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"Concern for man himself must always constitute the chief objective of all technological effort: concern for the big, unsolved problems of how to organize human work and the distribution of commodities in such a manner as to assure that the results of our scientific thinking may be a blessing to mankind, and not a curse. Intelligence does not rule the world, creativity does."
-- Albert Einstein |
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Samantha's E-Newsletter |
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Past Articles |
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| Thursday, April 05 |
| · | Samantha Doesn't Live Here Anymore (4) |
| Wednesday, March 28 |
| · | All You Need is Love (2) |
| Monday, January 29 |
| · | Road Trip Playlist (2) |
| Monday, January 22 |
| · | Two things... (5) |
| Saturday, September 30 |
| · | SoundExchange is Calling All Artists (3) |
| Tuesday, September 19 |
| · | The Journey (2) |
| Wednesday, August 23 |
| · | On Loneliness (3) |
| Thursday, August 17 |
| · | A Sustainable Life take deux (1) |
| Saturday, August 05 |
| · | California (0) |
| Thursday, August 03 |
| · | I'm Not Really a Waitress (0) |
| | Older Articles |
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Samantha Doesn't Live Here Anymore |
Posted by: Samantha on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 03:55 AM
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I remember the first time I came to LA when I was around 12. I was fascinated by all that seemed to be going on. Constant hustle and bustle. Everyone seemed to have such important lives, racing here and there frantically taking care of what seemed to be dire emergencies. I soon figured out LA was not really where I belonged as a human being. I mean, of course there are wonderful opportunities there for artists, but I'm talking about a lifestyle here.
Cut to the present all these years later....
I've been holding on to an apartment in LA that I don't even live in just to feel like I have some kind of home, anything. Desperately clinging to a facade of safety that never even existed.
About a year ago I was getting ready to go to London to record. I went around to my landlord's house to drop off the rent and let her know I'd be out of town. She asked me why I bothered to keep the apartment when I was gone so much touring. I mumbled some kind of excuse which I can't even recall now. She responded that she hoped I moved soon. I asked her why and it was one of those moments where you know something someone is about to say is important. She looked me deep in the eyes and said "Stars don't live there." She wasn't kissing my ass. I don't even think she'd know how as a cranky 85 year old Holocaust survivor. Plus she's never even heard me sing. She said it like I needed to accept my destiny and get on with it.
I'm not sure what I've been afraid of all this time. I'm not even sure what it is the apartment was giving me except the giant headache of having to keep finding people to sublet the place while praying that they take care of the few things I have that matter to me (my first real painting and a hundred year old antique French dining room table).
Let me divert for a moment here. For the past three months I've been intensely working on my mind. I see no reason why there should be any discrepancy between our dreams and our reality. The first order of business is to decide exactly what you want out of life. The next is to place your order with the Universe. The third and final step is to let it go, not worry about it and trust it's on the way. Having done all these things it became quite clear that nothing in my dreams involved an apartment in Los Angeles.
So, without so much as a thought, I took a leap of faith and turned in my notice. I set the wheels in motion and ever since that moment my life is transforming right before my very eyes! Opportunities opening up all over the place! Questions answered. Fears displaced. Radical changes.
It's amazing how we can coast along in life seemingly oblivious to the fact that we have an opportunity to design our lives according to our dreams and their specifications. The only thing this requires is an acceptance of the fact that we create our own realities with our thoughts. This might seem like a simple philosophy in theory, but in practice it is quite challenging at first. This decision eradicates your ability to blame anyone or anything for your state of being.
When one first starts to consider accepting full responsibility for one's life, all kinds of stuff comes up. We've been living blindly for years and now we're paying attention to our thoughts. We start to wonder is it the chicken or the egg? Are our thoughts creating our realities or are our realities creating our thoughts? Believe me when I tell you it is the former. It takes a little bit of time after you start thinking correctly for the Universe to respond, but respond it does! You start to live as you think. What do I mean by thinking correctly? I mean making a stronger commitment to yourself. Living your truth. Knowing who you are and letting it out. Never letting anyone stand in your way of doing that.
Okay, so what now? Often times when we start to pay attention we find we've been allowing people to run our lives. The reasons for this run the gamut. Guilt, fear, oppression, convenience take your pick. The important thing is to stop it in its tracks. The challenge here is that often times it is a family member. This sucks because this usually means they're on the inside, right at the very heart of you where you live and breathe. Believe me I understand this so well. Angry, bitter, unhappy people sucking the very life out of you, blaming you for their misery. Why do they do it? It can be something as small as they are jealous of the spark of joy in your eye that they can't seem to get. They will try to drag you down and keep you at their level. I'm not saying to blame them, but do not allow anyone to hold you back from your glory. Walk away, my friend.
I get letters from young kids telling me how much they dream to do certain things, but their well intentioned parents have expressed not only displeasure but have instilled the belief that it can't be achieved. I totally get their fears, but let me tell you, we have to walk away. We have to know and live our truth. Our dreams are placed inside us like road maps to let us know we're on the right path. When we ignore our passions for any reason whatsoever we are not only telling the Universe we don't matter, we are oppressing our very own souls. Watch your mind start to reject this by saying, but...and then giving some circumstantial excuse as to why you're trapped. There IS no excuse. You're trapped because you allow yourself to be.
Let me for a moment return to the initial reason for my post, the apartment. In the four years that I've had it, it's been a very emotional time. I recorded my album while living there. I had to have my dog put to sleep while I was living there. I fell in love and had my heart broken there. I quit smoking right after I first moved in there. I moved on from negative long term friendships while living there. I wrote song after song in the living room. I shot a ton of photos and videos there (God, I'm going to miss the 70's lighting). I hiked the canyons and ran through the hills surrounding it. I said prayers while staring out the window. I cried there.
I'm walking away from all of it. The only thing I'm taking with me is the truth of who I am and that is all I need. Where am I going? Well, I'm not sure specifically but I can see it in my mind's eye. It involves wide open spaces and clean air. Lots of nature and blue skies. I'm envisioning a big back yard overlooking the ocean in the distance for miles. Possibly an island. I can feel cool, green grass between my bare toes. I'm interested in having deep relationships with genuine people who know themselves and their truths. I yearn to invite these people over to dine with me in the big backyard and spend hours discussing how wonderful life is. And as we do the sun will turn to stars, the birds will turn to crickets and the peace will grow inside.
Far Away
by Samantha Murphy
MEN WILL COME AND MEN WILL GO
THEY TAKE YOU HIGH, THEY LEAVE YOU LOW
THIS IS WHAT MY MOTHER'S ALWAYS SAID
I'M SEEING THINGS MUCH DIFFERENTLY
EXAMINING WHAT I BELIEVE
WE CREATE WHAT WE RECEIVE IN OUR HEADS
I THINK IT'S TIME TO LOOK INSIDE AND
LIVE THE LIFE THAT I DECIDE
RUN INTO THE ARMS OF TRUTH
AS FAR AWAY AS I CAN GET FROM YOU
I LOVE YOU 'CAUSE YOU ARE MY BLOOD
SOMETIMES YOU TREAT ME LIKE THE MUD
BENEATH YOUR BUSY FEET
I HAVE A PURPOSE AND A DREAM
I HAVE A WALL I'M ERECTING
TAKE A NUMBER, TAKE A SEAT
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CUT THE STRINGS WHEN
MISERY IS ALL YOU BRING
FIND ME SOMEPLACE FRESH AND NEW
AS FAR AWAY AS I CAN GET FROM YOU
I WANT TO GO FAR
I WANT TO GO FAR
YOU WON'T LET ME
LET ME GO
YOU KNOW I WANT TO GO FAR
I WANT TO GO FAR
LET ME
LET ME GO
FAR AWAY FROM YOU
FAR AWAY FROM YOU
AS FAR AWAY AS I CAN GET FROM YOU
You can watch the video on YouTube. Can't get HTML to work here tonight, but the link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJJe4qOTwDQ
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