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Barn's burnt down-now I can see the moon.
-- Zen Master Masahide |
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Samantha's E-Newsletter |
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Past Articles |
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| Thursday, April 05 |
| · | Samantha Doesn't Live Here Anymore (4) |
| Wednesday, March 28 |
| · | All You Need is Love (2) |
| Monday, January 29 |
| · | Road Trip Playlist (2) |
| Monday, January 22 |
| · | Two things... (5) |
| Saturday, September 30 |
| · | SoundExchange is Calling All Artists (3) |
| Tuesday, September 19 |
| · | The Journey (2) |
| Wednesday, August 23 |
| · | On Loneliness (3) |
| Thursday, August 17 |
| · | A Sustainable Life take deux (1) |
| Saturday, August 05 |
| · | California (0) |
| Thursday, August 03 |
| · | I'm Not Really a Waitress (0) |
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On Loneliness |
Posted by: Samantha on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 - 12:00 AM
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Definitions of loneliness on the Web:
* the state of being alone in solitary isolation
* forlornness: sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned
* aloneness: a disposition toward being alone
* Loneliness is a state of feeling cut off from and longing for others, due to lack of contact (physically, emotionally, etc.) with people (whether acquaintances, friends, or loved ones). Loneliness is not to be confused with solitude (where a person may appreciate the time to think and reflect without distraction.)
I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that....
I'm someone who spends time looking for answers to life's questions. I know, I know...but if I stop searching, then what?
I find the answers tend to come most quickly when I'm in nature. So, the other day I was wandering through the hills, as I'm wont to do, and I started pondering loneliness. What does it mean and why do people feel it to such varying degrees? The way people handle loneliness seems to vary so greatly as well. I'm also curious as to the purpose of loneliness.
As someone who is not religious, but deeply spiritual, I look to God (or my higher power) for answers.
Have any of you read the book Conversations with God? I read it years ago and there was one really interesting theory in there that has stayed with me. The writer, Neale Donald Walsch, claims that God's explanation to him of why He created us is so that He, God, could experience himself. Having been only one entity in one environment, there was no experience other than bliss. This makes sense to me. It's something that soothes me when times are challenging. It makes me grateful for the downs as well as the ups.
So as I pondered loneliness, I started thinking about reincarnation. Some people believe we keep coming back to this world until we "get it right," so to speak. Others of us believe we only get one shot, one life. For the former, it occurred to me that with each reincarnation one might become lonelier in preparation for the return to complete oneness. Does that make sense to you? By the time we are in our last life we are alone virtually all the time, experiencing feelings of tremendous loneliness. In this final life it would also make sense that we would only seek relationships that fortify us fully, knowing full well that shallow relationships sought purely for the purpose of not physically being alone will never assuage us of our loneliness, but only heighten it.
I have to say I don't agree with the definitions I posted at the beginning of this thread. For me, loneliness has nothing to do with whether I'm with other people or not. Parties can be the loneliest time in the world if you're surrounded by people you have nothing in common with. I bet not one of us hasn't experienced the tremendous feeling of loneliness that comes after a sexual encounter where there's no connection, bar the physical. It takes so much more than it gives. It's the opposite when we meet someone who understands us fully. It enables us to go to a place we seldom get to visit in our daily lives and feel at home, if only for awhile. It renews us so we can go back out into the world and give more, only to be depleted and return to the sanctuary again (hopefully!).
In my estimation, loneliness is about not having someone who understands you. It's truly exhausting to be around people that are hard to talk to. People who suck your energy dry with their negative energy and needs. You feel like you constantly have to explain what you mean or, even worse, not even bother to express yourself. When you find someone who gets you, you can finally relax and just be without having to think of how or if you're being perceived.
In the meantime, I am less lonely alone.
"I wish I was like you. Easily amused."
-Kurt Cobain
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